St. Patricks Day

So reality set in today. I can remember back in the day, taking the entire day off, being at the Gridiron in Downtown Blue Springs at 6 a.m. for the first green beer of the day, walking in the world’s shortest parade and then heading to Clancy’s for the rest of the day and night. Today my day consisted of laying on the couch in uncomfortable positions, just so Caleb could sleep and be comfortable. He was having no part of being set down anywhere. All this so my wife could get some sleep. There is no green beer at the bar tonight, just reheated enchiladas and prime time television with the family. And the funny thing…I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Those days when I was younger were fantastic. But there is something about being a dad to 2 young beautiful kids. I got to go on a run with Jacquie in her running stroller tonight, and it was great. So now that I have been serious, here is your funny story for the week. Last Friday, Hilary and I took Jacquie to Jumping Jax. The place was packed because of spring break. Jacquie is too little to do all of the activities by herself, so ol’ dad has to help her through. I was getting quite impatient with the lack of discipline that some of these kids were getting. We weren’t there 5 minutes before some 7 or 8 year old little turd kicked Jacquie in the head. I told him to watch what he was doing, and he basically gave me an f’ off look. Once again later, he pushed her out of the way. I mentally took a picture of the little heathen and we kept playing. Later on as I was climbing behind Jacquie on the big slide, he appeared behind me, trying to go around, telling me that she was too little and in the way, then he grabbed the back of my pants. One thing I have discovered being married and especially having kids. Is how protective you get of your wife and children. So anyway, I was done messing with this little delinquent. Call it divine intervention or call it the beer and whatever I had for lunch. The urge hit me suddenly to fart. After a quick analysis of where his nose was in proximity to my ass, I let fly. And it was one of those silent, but deadly farts, the kind that makes the trash man look at the bottom of his shoes. Needless to say, he was none too pleased at my gastric issues. So I laughed my way to the top of the slide, grabbed Jacquie and laughed all the way down. I didn’t see him the rest of the day. I think he was avoiding me for some reason. Not sure why. Bottom line, don’t screw with my wife or kids or I will figure out a creative way to get you back!

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